Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Do You Know Your Expiry Date?


After listening to Lily Allen's 22 I started to think to myself, do I have an expiry date? Well I hope I don't.

Lily Allen - 22
When she was 22 the future looked bright
But she's nearly 30 now and she's out every night
I see that look in her face, she's got that look in her eye
She's thinking how did I get here and wondering why

It's sad but it's true how society says her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
'Til the man of her dreams comes along
Picks her up and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

She's got an alright job but it's not a career
Whenever she thinks about it, it brings her to tears
'Cause all she wants is a boyfriend, she gets one night stands
She's thinking how did I get here, I'm doing all that I can

It's sad but it's true how society says her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
'Til the man of her dreams comes along
Picks her up and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age

It's sad but it's true how society says her life is already over
There's nothing to do and there's nothing to say
'Til the man of her dreams comes along
Picks her up and puts her over his shoulder
It seems so unlikely in this day and age





I think that most women believe that 30 is their cut off date. I don't know why we think this though. Is it because Hugh Hefner, the ultimate playboy does not date women over the age of 30?
I think we have this insecurity because our 20s is our decade to be young and the 30s the decade to be career women, wives and mothers.
When I vision my 30s I maybe see myself with a mini me and the most fabulous career ever! However if none of this happens to me I won't be bummed. Look at Halle Berry, she only had a child at 40 and her daughter, Nahla is absolutely beautiful.

I'm not suprised that I don't mention a husband in my vision for my 30s.
When I vision my wedding, I see everything else but the guy. When I dream of my wedding I see everything else but the guy. When I think of life after the wedding, I think of everything but the guy. I believe that I am quite hetrosexual, but I also know that if Mr. Guy is not in the picture I will be quite fine. I have been fine without him for the past 19 years! But I would like to get married for the marriage ... as well as the wedding. However I doubt I can play that desperate housewife every single day. If my 'husband' had to ask me what was for dinner, I would probably tell him that McDonalds is open 24/7.

So I probably won't want to take care of another male my age, but I definetly want to take care of children, who look like me and have a bit of Kimora Lee Simmons' eldest daughter in them. So does that mean I will have to get a younger husband ... Don't think so! A younger guy would just drive me mad. It would be like taking care of my younger brother all over again.

To be honest, I just want to be successful enough to raise my own children the way that I was raised. I highly doubt that I will be out every night when I'm 30 waiting for Mr. Man of My Dreams, to come pick me up. But thats what I think. I wanted to know what other people my age thought of this subject

So I decided to interview people and asked them the following questions.
  1. At what age do you think women should get married?
  2. If women arent married by the age of 30, how high do you think their chances are of getting married?
  3. Why do you think women go for younger men?
  4. If you weren't married by 30, would you still have high hopes that you were still going to marry?
  5. What age do you plan to marry
  6. Should women have careers or jobs?
Some of the answers were:
  1. Robin: I don't think there is an age, but there is a cut off. If you not married by 30 it's late.
    Lwazi: Okay ... mmm ... okay 28, no wait, or if not a number, when the woman can stand for herself. She has her own house and car.
  2. Thabo: Um ... not very slim, 35 is the limit otherwise its game for your ass.
  3. Thabo: Um ... Women who go for youner men are established. When they were young they were focused and missed out on young life. So maybe that's why they do it.
    Robyn: Control, they wanna feel like they are in control. Younger guys are more accepting.
    Yogi: They are easier to control, men like older women. Quote from Simphiwe "It's tight!"
    Justin: Um ... Younger men go for older women.
  4. Yogi: I don't know, I don't think about marriage. Marriage is a long time.
  5. Simphiwe: I don't have an age planned. I'll know when I meet the right girl.
  6. Lwazi: They should have a career until they have a child, then take the luxury of taking a break, then have a job, work from home.
    Justin: Jobs.

From some of these answers it doesn't seem like most people even think about marriage. Everyone else is busy being young and having a good time.

Do I have too much time on my hands? Should I be spending my time thinking about marriage and the implications of a single life after 30? I think not!


But as I said above, the Lily Allen song really did get me thinking about all of this. And it is true, after 30 society thinks that your life is over if you have no children, a job instead of a career and no husband.
I think it's about time we stopped planning our weddings and acting out our "Honey I'm home" lines. We need to stop looking for Mr. Man of Our Dreams and focus on being ourselves and living in the moment. And if it does so happen that we turn 30 and we are singing the words to this song with meaning, so be it, at least we out every night at 30!



We decide our own expiry dates, not society.




Thanks to everyone I interviewed!

1 comments:

Dlozi said...

amazing...much love

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